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tumblr_n2pidvgNgR1rm4c8wo1_500I’m a college student and of course I drink. But I never get drunk or “schwasted” or stupid silly like the rest of my age group. I feel as though there is a time for that and unfortunately, most of the time, people choose the wrong time and place to accomplish these tasks.

I live right down the street from college town and so my friends and I often go to all the bars and clubs around the area, and while going out I feel as though I have become pretty knowledgeable and able to come up with a few guidelines.

1. This is an obvious one. Don’t drink and drive. 

This is not only dangerous for you but countless others. UCF offers a service where students can get a ride home if they are out and drunk, I believe it is one free pass each month? I am not 100% sure, i’ll have to look into it. Either way there are ways around driving home, if you find yourself in that situation take a cab, call a friend, all else fails? call your parents. It’s not hard, make it happen. A friend of mine was driving home the other day and was a two lane road (one going one way, the other the opposite way) when he saw this truck coming at him who crossed over into his lane. He thankfully realized the truck wasn’t switching back and go into the other lane so that he didn’t get hit head-on. He turned around and followed the truck only for the driver of the truck to come to a traffic light, make a complete stop in them middle of the intersection and go as far as to pass out in his car, in the middle of an intersection. Needless to say, the situation could have been a heck of a lot worse.

2. Don’t drink and text.

Another obvious one that you will see in countless other posts about drinking while in college. Here’s the deal, texting while drunk causes you to embarrass yourself and can lead to some very bad drunken decisions. I remember one time texting people thinking I was perfectly fine and reading my text the next morning and thinking, i sound like a 2nd grader, who talks like that? I was lucky, i hadn’t made many spelling errors, my tone had just significantly changed.

Bad decisions are a simple thing, texting guys or guys texting girls while drunk always leads to bad decisions. I think i’ll leave it at that.

3.  Girls, learn how to dress.

College bars are not the time or place for you to dress like you’re going to a fashion show. It’s a dingy, crappy, college bar where half the guys are going no where in life and the other half already have a significant other. Short skirts, low cut tops and ridiculously high heels belong downtown. College bars are laid-back and relaxing almost, maxi skirts and a crop top, jeans and a nice top, heels are okay sometime but don’t go skanky with the heels. Like I said, this isn’t a fashion show. I’ve been to the college bar in jeans and a button down before with no make up. It’s to hang out with friends, not meet the love of your life. If you’re planning on doing that at any kind of bar then you have a serious problem regardless.

4. Don’t bring buckets of cash to the bar. 

It will get stolen. And you will be upset. If you go to a bar, take a debit card and maybe $20, unless you’re going somewhere more upscale than that but like I said don’t take a lot. It will either get stolen or lost. Especially if you’re me. I always loose money, mostly because I ask someone to hold it (it hate taking a handbag to those places) and then my money gets mixed in with theirs and then it’s too hard to figure out and so i lose my money, so to speak.

5. Drinking and heels? no.

need i say more? How many girls have had a sprained ankle happen due to a night of drinking? I know at least two of them. Just don’t unless you always wear heels in which case, maybe. Wedges are pretty stable, as far as heels go.

6. STOP SCREAMING

I realize most of these guidelines apply to girls, however, guys really don’t give a shit when it comes to going out, therefore they really don’t need to worry. Girls I understand that it is exciting to go out and see all of your girls but seriously? do we really need to scream every 5 minutes, or whenever you want to say something. It’s not necessary. So stop and take a Xanax next time, because you need to calm to fuck down.

7. Cool it with the pictures.

We are in college, not high school. Take photos when you’re sober and classy not drunk and trashy. You will have potential employers looking at your Facebook and I know they won’t want to see you getting sloshed every weekend all over your Facebook. In high school it was cool to take all the photos and post them and show you had a life, because people cared back then. You’re in college now though and pictures are great and everything but the likeliness of me going through your photos on Facebook now are slim to none. In fact I barely go on Facebook. Post one or two ones where you are sober and still have you’re dignity, after that, simply stop taking photos. It will save yourself from some awful blackmail later in life. Save it for snap chat as well. The embarrassment only lasts 10 seconds.

8. There is time for everything.

There is a time for everything and the time forgetting drunk falls on many occasions such as the Super Bowl, 4th of July, New Years, Friday and Saturday nights, sometimes Thursday nights, etc. However, you probably shouldn’t get drunk at a banquet, and when i say drunk I mean passing out in your car and embarrassing yourself drunk. It’s okay to have a few drinks and to get somewhat tipsy but after that calm down. I went to a banquet recently and not only were half the people their drunk, they were also screaming and disruptive throughout the banquet, too the point where someone lost their temper and shouted at everyone (also not okay). Have a drink or two but not enough to make yourself disruptive causing everyone else to get angry.

9. Shots. Shots. Shots.

It you know you can’t handle shots, don’t take them. It’s great and everything that you want to do shots with your friends but if you are wasted after two of them or they increase your likeliness of throwing up then simply don’t do them. Instead, chill with a mixed drink or a beer and let everyone else feel sick in the end.

10. You remember that Rando you danced with last night?

yeah, he’s not the love of your life and if you’re a boys, she’s not either. They might be way later in life, but right now, don’t date the randoms you meet in college bars. We’re in college, we aren’t looking for serious relationships, especially if we are at club or bar every night. Maybe hook up with them (i wouldn’t), maybe text a little that night, but 12 hours after dancing with them, it’s more than enough time to cut communication. Or you could just give them a fake number, that works too.

And remember, Liquor before beer and you’re in the clear, beer before liquor and you’ll never be sicker.